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Fear the UnknownThrough all the blood and teardrops,
I've learned to fear holding your hand.
I need you to know that I'm not that strong,
and that I know it's hard to understand.
I've made a promise to hold you up,
but in the end is that really enough?
You're resting in the hands of a broken soul
that's still inches beneath the ground.
Still AliveI've been thinking lately
How everything been changing
On how I've been aging
Staging my life but not much
Of it is ranging
Am I still alive?
Or is my existence fading
Pull up to my house
Watching the night sky
Waiting to sober up
And get off this high
So I can feel the pain
To know I'm still alive
Looking back only one thing
Comes to mind
The good times they were
How the years
Not a worry in the world
Till the age of reality
With the experience in life
Alters our mentality
As the loss of innocence
Becomes such a tragedy
And we all know
How bad that can be
When the age of vanity
Simply YouA complexion unadorned with the demons of society.
Eyes with gentle waves that cleanse me of worry.
Lips as delicate as the petal of a rose.
A smile so bright the moon is full with envy.
Laughter that fills my ears with the most beautiful of melodies.
A soul of age, of wisdom, and of strength.
A heart that pounds with love for you.
Forbidden SanityThere's a deeper darker side to me,
A sanity, mentality I dare not seek.
For something’s are better off unspoken,
Let the tortured souls rest unbroken.
Fretfully, spitefully I hold my tongue,
Afraid of unjust if I become undone.
I'm terrified of this side of me,
Of these words I write in sanity.
All are pallid and sickly wan.
May my heart stop pounding as I transcend,
This darker me I'm afraid to see.
And sometimes I hear in fitful sleep,
A murmur of words on a silver string.
Leather bound in blooded lace,
A list of iniquities forever in place.
Stirring arousing a beast inside,
Yet serendipity is all in sight
If youIf you were the sun, I want to be your sky
If you were the moon, I want to be the stars
If you were a performer, I want to be your stage
If I was the moon, youd be the sun
If I was a leaf, you would be the gentle breeze that blows me away
If I was lost, would you look for me?
If love was the opening act, wed be the main event
If there was a painting, wed be the colors
If you loved me, my world would be all light.
Dying so YoungHer cold little fingers,
in between my hands,
Emerald green eyes,
never to see again,
Once was my love,
One I held so dear,
She was an angel,
but then was my fear,
Falling for ill,
in the still of the night,
Down on my knees,
crying from fright,
My poor little daughter,
Dying so young,
Now to close the casket,
forever from the sun.
Dear to the WorldDear to the World
Dry up those tears and stand up;
The sands of time will not cease to stop in favor of your woeful sorrows.
Your silence to the world projects your voice throughout the vast entity of space and through a multitude of cosmic galaxies.
Hatred is capable of burrowing deep into your heart until it torments and haunts the mind to condemn.
For envy will grow like the green vines of jungles, twirl around your feet and encase your body in transparent black acridness.
Honor those who have grown to age wisely and endure the calamities meeting them from the wings of the
What's Still Broken In MeJust writing to explain,
why I feel so plain,
why, now you're so down,
I have nothing to claim,
I know how it sounds,
you're not to blame,
I just don't wanna hurt you,
that'll always be the same.
I still haven't recovered,
no matter what I write,
no matter of the manner,
that I may seem alright,
It still bites at night,
the days are hard too,
I just can't tell you straight,
because what you're going through,
to me, takes priority,
so what I do,
is bottle it all up,
but I'd do that for you,
one day it'll burst,
but I'll be alright,
it won't be worse,
than anything you fight,
when day loses it's bright,
I'll stay under the covers,
and wait for
Dearest PreciousMy dearest precious
is running through my hands
away from infinity
The long lost definition of Me,
you thought you had it
I'm not even sorry to break your illusions
You're bleeding at the mountainsides
and I'm impregnated by the valleys
and the unsexed wastelands
are our battleground
I'm so fucking Inane
and you are now
between a crush and a curse
ChangeWould you please tell me?
What displeases you so?
How can I change myself?
So you can accept me again.
What is so wrong with me?
That it bothers you so?
How can I change?
Become who you want me to be?
How can I fix myself for you?
Me changing seems to be the only way,
You see yourself as perfect.
It seems the only way is if I change.
So I will.
I do not feel like fighting any more.
Broken Me.When my heart starts to break...
I try to convince myself these tears are fake.
That I’m playing for an audience.
But I guess that simply makes no sense.
I’m sitting here alone, again,
And yet every tear I’m holding in.
Maybe my hearts being punished.
But I just need you to miss...
I need you to miss us
Who we were besides the lust
Who I am... when you’re not here.
I’m weak now... just full of despair.
I have so many questions to ask you.
If you saw this poem... would you care?
Do you love me still?
Will my heart ever heal?
I have no answers, so can you tell me.
Am I nothing? Is that what you see?
My dearest, sweetest, meMy dearest me,
How are you in those future days? How much has really changed?
Is your life what you've dreamt of, or are things still the same?
You're living to the fullest I hope, you've accepted you for you.
I really hope you're the me I know, but living more for two.
Don't look back on the past and say "I wish I'd done this and that."
Because the past is the past (they say), and you'll never get it back.
Don't wish and sigh and dream like now. That wont make much difference.
Embrace your current state of being and learn to love your presence.
I'm helping you to write those wrongs because that's who you are.
At least, I hope that'
Burns DarknessBlood mixes with sand
I spit it out
some still lingers yet
That soft metallic taste
Topped with hard crunches
between my back teeth
Or is that them
My teeth, crunching; clenching
Crumbling and crushing now
grinding into fine dust
Where once they were
Connected, by rotted roots
As we are here
connected by much less
Less than rotten fumes
Less than I; you
Or now, vice versa
As it (n)ever was
Yet we bend, break
Splash like a light
through this shattered prism
Lighting up empty rooms
Cast upon distant walls
Behind the brightest light
There are darker shadows
And here you are
Empty and more vacant
than a hallow-point she
This never ending saddensEvery morning when I wake up,I feel this saddens
This pain is so unbearable
I sit there silently crying in the deep dark corner in my heart
I just need somebody to hold
Is there anyone out there?
No of course not
There's no one to fill this emptiness in my heart
Blindly going through a maze of despair
When will this end?
My heart screaming out
Just so miserable
In this room painted black
My feelings on the wall
Closing me in
I just can't take this any more
Why should I bother?Everything was happy until that
Now she's just sleeping in her bed
Everything changed you say
Now it's all different without her...
Why should I bother?
Never talked with her
only saw her face
knew her name, nothing more
So please stop, just stop crying
I understand she was a wonderful girl
But we are getting tired
tired of hearing same thing everyday
It's all different, you say...
Why, why should I even bother?
I didn't laugh, I wasn't happy
but I wasn't so sad like you
when I heard the bad news
If every single moment you remember her
you'll start crying, you'll start shouting
just close your mouth and stay quiet
Dark DaysMy days are grey
The sky is dark
I haven't got any luck, no
I try to find
a way to escape
But they don't let me walk, no
There's no obstacle
I can't beat
But I'm stuck in this chair
I see through the window
and I find out
People are running for their lives
I have no power, but
If you want war I'll give you war...
My days are dark
The sky is grey
I can find a solution
for my country
But I think I'll do it again
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`anmari has been spreading her infectious positivity throughout our community for over 6 years. Throughout this time Ana has been at the core of all things devious, passionately developing an eclectic gallery, helping organise devmeets, participating in chat events and also recently completed dedicating her time as a Community Volunteer. We are absolutely delighted to bestow the Deviousness Award for May 2013 to `anmari, congratulations! Read More